Many of you know by now of my struggle against Stage IV colon cancer. After 3 years of holding it at bay, it has finally gotten the upper hand. We are out of chemo options to try at this point, and even if we had one, it would be dicey to use it because my liver is on the edge of failure and using any type of chemo would risk tipping me into liver failure. So all treatment has ended.
Last week during my last Mayo visits, I was told by my oncology team that I have either 2-3 months left, or possibly as much as six months, depending on who you ask.
So far, I’m doing relatively well. Still in no pain (a source of continuous puzzlement to my doctors), but I find myself becoming exhausted easily and being fairly constantly tired.
The problem is the tumors are pinching the smaller bile ducts in my liver, meaning they cannot process waste and send bile to the larger ducts and eventually to the digestive tract.
Bilirubin is a compound that breaks down dead red blood cells and then is filtered out of the blood by the liver. With my bile ducts being blocked, my liver can’t process it and so it is building up in my bloodstream. Eventually, this will lead to jaundice (I’m already at the very beginning of that, with a slight yellow tinge to the whites of my eyes. It’s only really visible if I take off my glasses and you look closely in good light). The fatigue is also a symptom. Eventually, I may start experiencing cognitive decline. Apparently there is ammonia in bilirubin and ammonia does not play well with brain cells.
So, how am I doing? Fine. I resigned myself to the fact that this was a possibility when I was diagnosed. 5-year survival for this type of cancer is only 17%, so the odds were long from the start. I made up my mind quickly after I was diagnosed that I was not going to let this cancer run my life and have managed to live a reasonably normal life despite surgeries and chemo treatments. I continued working for 2 ½ of those 3 years. I’d sure like to live more than 53 years, but hey, 53 years isn’t a bad run and I’m satisfied that I’ve done some good in the world in my time.
Speaking of which, thanks to all the contributors to my GoFundMe effort — I ultimately raised 3 times as much as my original goal. The books for the elementary are ordered and should arrive in a week or so. The rest will be distributed among 3 school libraries that are underfunded, to give them a chance to enlarge or modernize their collections for their students.
Anyway, you’ll still see me around on DKos for awhile yet — I just don’t know for how long.
And this doesn’t mean I’m giving up. It means I’m at a disadvantage, but hey, underdogs sometimes surprise you. As far as this cancer is concerned, I have one thing to say right now — as the soccer hooligans say, “Come and have a go, if you think you’re hard enough!”
Until next time, stay curious, folks.
