
Half of the 10 greatest movies ever to exist are romantic comedies. Film bros and “official” lists might try to convince you otherwise, but they would be wrong. I should know, I’ve been watching rom-coms since before I could even form full sentences (my earliest movie memory is the love story between a landlocked mermaid and her dark-haired dreamboat — yes, I’m talking Splash).
So it pains me to say that half of the 10 worst movies ever to exist are romantic comedies. More specifically, romantic comedy sequels. These follow-ups are frequently forgettable (Splash, Too, who?), or worse, unforgettably horrendous (I won’t name names, except whichever one you’re thinking of, yes, that one). Perhaps that’s because, as a concept, rom-com sequels are an abomination, antithetical to the very genre that birthed them.
Rom-coms exist as escapism. Life is hard, relationships are tricky, and then there are, you know, the horrors. Rom-coms allow us 120 minutes of fantasy and hope. They tend to follow the same basic formula (I mean that as a compliment): two people meet (cute), fall in love despite various obstacles, overcome said obstacles, kiss, and live happily ever after. The last point is an absolute requirement.
Rom-com sequels, technically, take place in that happily ever after. But the thing about happily ever afters is they’re about as narratively interesting as watching someone cut their lawn blade-by-blade with a pair of nail clippers. Stories need conflict, and to have a continuing story we’re suddenly leaving “happily” behind and the couple we watched fall in love are now breaking up or repeating the same old mistakes or gasp even becoming interested in other people.
Sometimes the original love interest isn’t even there — which is the case in the latest Bridget Jones movie, Mad About the Boy, the fourth (!!) film in the franchise. It follows Bridget as she enters the dating world yet again, this time as a widow.
Which means Mark Darcy is dead.
Let me repeat that.
Mark Darcy is dead.