
Trigger warning: This article mentions depression
Matt Lozano guested on Mikee Quintos’s “Lutong Bahay” where he opened up on his experience with depression and how he overcame it.
Mikee and Chef Ylyt visited Matt and his mom, Elaine, for Tuesday’s episode where they cooked beef estofado.
While sampling the dish, Mikee asked Matt if he could share about having depression in the past and how he was able to bounce back.
According to the “Voltes VL Legacy” star, things piled up for him at that time, which was also around the time when he won “Eat Bulaga’s” Spogify singing competition.
“That time, I was the grand winner of ‘Spogif.’ Four months straight may mga prod kami tapos biglang nawala. Pumupunta kami sa studio, nandun kami, tapos waiting, tapos hindi na kami nakukunan. Nalungkot ako dun,” he said.
He shared that he gained weight that time. He would also audition for projects, but none would take him.
“Magulo, sobrang gulo ng utak ko nun. Feeling ko walang nag-s-support sa ‘kin, feeling ko basta nag-ibang tao ako.”
Matt also recalled the one time when he wanted to end it all and he was driving 100 kilometers epr hour on Congressional Avenue.
“Lasing na lasing ako nun. Sobrang nasa darkest ano ako nun, tapos nasa Congressional ako, bigla na lang nag-pop sa head ko na, ‘Uy may simbahan dun ah.’ Stop, U-turn.”
His mom, Elaine, then took the opportunity to address parents like her, saying that they can only protect their children so much once they become adults.
“Kaya dasal, prayers. Paglabas na paglabas pa lang niya ng bahay, nagdadasal na ko, ‘Lord please protect my son, protect my children,’ kasi wala na kong control diyan,” she said.
Matt added that he parked his car in front of the church and broke down. He then prayed and apologized.
“Nagdadasal ako, nag-s-sorry ako, ‘Bakit ganito ‘yung iniisip ko, anong nangyayari, bakit ko tatapusin ‘yung something great na binigay sa ‘kin?'”
He eventually fell asleep in his car and when he woke up, he asked himself what he was doing with his life.
“Nung nakauwi ako, the next day, tinanong ko si God, sabi ko, ‘Bakit mo sa ‘kin binigay ‘tong talento na ‘to kung sasayangin ko lang?’ So, ngayon ‘yung ginawa ko wala nang kumukuha sa ‘kin sa showbiz, no problem.’ Kinuha ko yung gitara ko,” he said.
Per Matt, the biggest lesson that he learned from this experience was learning to love his real self.
“Siguro ‘yung nagsimula akong mahalin ‘yung kung ano talaga ‘yung totoong ako…” he said. “‘Di ba, kumbaga, parang kung hindi mo tatanggapin ikaw kung ano ka eh, kung sino ka, ano ang katawan mo, kung hindi mo i-a-accept ‘yung sarili mo.”
Mikee replied, “Parang you’re always performing for other people, you’re pleasing them not yourself, when dapat siya ‘yung pini-please natin.”
Matt currently stars in “Forever Young,” which airs Mondays to Fridays at 4:05 p.m. on GMA Prime. He is also a mainstay in “Bubble Gang,” which airs Sundays, 6:05 p.m., on GMA.
— CDC, GMA Integrated News