[Second of five stories]
Can I make a confession? Apart from not having any strategy to this Dry January challenge, I went into it knowing I will fumble.
Our big family reunion was scheduled on the first weekend of the year, and of the six bottles of wine we had prepared, one bore the name of our late father. How could I not partake?
It took two full hours of sobriety before I finally had my glass. By then, the rest of the party were already on their second glasses, which felt like a consolation prize, if not a little victory. At least I had slowed down my drinking?
That evening, I ended up drinking three glasses and surprisingly there weren’t as fun — or as important to fun as I previously thought. That’s not mentioning the faint burn of acid building in my tummy from the alcohol, the very thing that made me decide to try Dry January on a whim.
I went home sober, and despite my casual attitude about this whole thing, a little disappointed in myself.
This Dry January is proving to be an exercise on failure, forgiveness, grit, self-awareness, and reframing certain situations.
I didn’t realize alcohol was so ingrained in my social (and family) life — which isn’t really a special case.
While nursing my disappointment, I came across a 2022 study by Jamaal S. Omamalin, published in the Philippine Social Journal, that said “festivity is strongly associated with alcohol consumption in Filipino culture.”
But “it is not necessarily invoked as a justification for every drinking occassion,” it continued. “A celebration requires alcohol, but every drink does not require a celebration.”
Culture plus my lack of strategy (and my belief that I will fumble the exercise) led to my early failure, yes, but also, here’s lesson no. 2: Positive reframing.
Maybe it’s not really a failure. Maybe it’s just a setback.
According to the Stress and Development Lab of Harvard University, “positive reframing involves thinking about a negative or challenging situation in a more positive way.”
By reframing failure as a setback, I am allowing myself another chance to see Dry January through. Why I would want to do that when I’m clearly struggling, I’m not really sure.
Is it fear of failure? Is it wanting to experience all the often-touted benefits of Dry January? Or is it being able to see it as an opportunity to be kinder to myself and actually taking it? Maybe it’s all of the above.
Which leads me to lesson no. 3: We all might want to be kinder and more compassionate to ourselves, when we mess up. According to a Greater Good Magazine, “difficulties with self-forgiveness are linked with suicide attempts, eating disorders, and alcohol abuse, among other problems.”
But self-forgiveness doesn’t mean getting a pass and not taking accountability over our mistakes. In the article, owning up and making amends are two ways to healthy self-forgiveness.
So decided to prod along this Dry January exercise. I’m resolved to do better. First up, I plan to make up for the weekend mishap by extending my Dry January one day into February.
And I’m now also making a plan. Boozy brunches with friends are temporarily off the table. I’ve been changing happy hour venues to places that also serve coffee. And most importantly, perhaps, I have been owning my Dry January. I’ve been letting people know I’m on it and I don’t plan on downplaying until it’s over. —GMA Integrated News
